Is it enough?

*SIGH*

It's tough when all the intensely-laid plans are turned awry with the flick decision of the last person. When no amount of pleading and begging would seem to shake that rock. When at the end of the day, the ultimate goal is not met - and our heads hang on the gullotine for it.

You know when a child loses a competition, adults tell the kid - "it's okay you did your best - that's all that matters."

I'm not a child anymore. Will you still tell me that same thing? It won't change the outcome, it's as if FAILURE in big capital letters do not count for anything, and at the end of the day, it's the OUTCOME that matters. When we're older we realize that some outcomes do not have momentary effects; they sometimes have long-term implications.

Maybe doing one's best is just not good enough. It still feels crappy that things didn't work out. In fact it makes you want to give up totally. Completely.

Maybe I just need a break. Wish I could take a time-unrestrained holiday. But then again it might work against me - I usually try to seek a glimmer of *something* in everyday than embark on major holidays to rejuvenate. Either way, I rarely get to totally relax.

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.