All about being emo...

Pianist was tasked to play an introduction to one of the songs today. The youngsters taught me the melody. The chords were plonked in. And it became what I began to call the "emo intro" that still haunts me now - about 9 hours later.

Oh boy. Have I got a problem.

To me it sounded like it would do well as the background music to that heartbreaking scene in a Korean / Japanese drama where the girl has found some awful secret and confronts the guy she loves about it - and he has no idea what to do, and is staring at her, speechless... Or that scene where the guy who still loves her just turns and walks away in the pouring rain...

Thinking too much? Dramatizing? Maybe. But hey, dramatic is my blood. (It runs alongside those black gospel tendencies that show up in my vocals.)

I didn't realize I had the capacity to be this emo until a few years back. It isn't necessarily a bad thing, really - I do find that the most tragic, hauntingly, achingly-beautiful pieces of music, lyrics or poetry are produced when one is sufficiently deep in his state of emo-ness. Such works of art are genuine, in that the musician, lyricist or poet is baring his soul, allowing you a glimpse into whatever is in his heart to torment him.

"You think too much." That's what some people used to say to me. I don't understand. Isn't it worse to think less? I mean, at least I've got some brain activity, right?

Yet... I begin to wonder if musicians do have a certain capacity to delve deeper into that part of our hearts and minds that most people do not notice or are glad to ignore. We all go through heartbreak once in a while, but it's the lyricist that describes the pain so acutely and in so many ways that you can feel your own hurt surfacing when you hear those words. We may not understand that piece of music or that poetry, but when that flurry of notes or words hit you, they hit you. HARD.

Perhaps the result of some of us going through emo stages isn't so much about giving birth to the world's best song or poem. Perhaps the real reason of the being emo is really about helping people find their true states and give a voice for them to express that which they hide inside; something they fear to articulate, or just don't know how.

Perhaps, it is just a way to remind us of our humanity; that we are real people with the capacity to feel, to think, to hurt, and to love.

Be proud, all you emo people of the world. You serve humanity.

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