Love me, hate me

And I'm speaking for myself.

I love the artsy side of me because I am then caught up in its waves of inspiration and enabled to produce verse and lyric of deep and meaningful emotions. I hate the artsy side of me because it plunges me deep into the depths of confusion and nothingness that I am helpless in getting out of. No real reason. Just feels that way.

The artsy side of me has surfaced again, and it has managed to confound me utterly and completely. I can't focus, I can't think straight, I reek of the eccentricity they love to label us musicians. I've managed to tip my internal balance and upset those around me, and I hate myself for doing that.

I feel as if my emotions are detached from my rationale mind. My brain says there's no rationale for this and it's time to snap out of it. My heart is silent, feeling the tinge of unexplained ache, wallowing in the deep ends of the murky seas.

It's feels much easier to be unfeeling, numb, devoid of any emotion. Wish I could. But what would I be giving up then?