Love so amazing...

How I have come this far, I have no idea. I only know the bits and pieces...

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"Fly high," urged a friend, many years ago. I told him to keep me grounded. In a way I think I still am, yet I'm moving forward at the same time.

"What's my heartsong, Lord?" I asked, as I drove on the MRR2. Thank God for the distance between SS15 and Pandan Mewah, which allowed ample time for the song to fall onto my lap.

"Can I give you a line?" wrote Phylli in my YM chatbox. "Pegang hatiku di tanganMu." Hold my heart in Your hand.

"Bila..." echoed Patrick, at our voice audition in DUMC. And a year later, "Could I include your song in Elohim?"

"...And by the way, I believe God might give you a special honour to worship sing/lead for Him before many thousands Christians next year..." wrote Pastor Caleb in an email. (insert raised eyebrows)

"Hi, I'm Pastor Alvin from Subang. Next year on May 23rd we'll have the Malaysian chapter of the Global Day of Prayer..." in a phone call received on a weekday.

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Only God sees and understands the depth of my gratitude, that He still chooses to use an imperfect and broken vessel to do His work, to be a blessing, to demonstrate His glory to His people. Only God could see my deepest, darkest secrets, and still consider me worthy to be a recipient of His incomparable grace and matchless love.

Words are beyond me, God. All I can say is thank You, from the bottom of my heart.

Setiap detik, demi namaMu.

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"She Believes In Me"

That's the song that's playing in the background as I type this.

There's just something about this song that has a hold on me.

"She believes in me

I'll never know just what she sees in me

I told her someday if she was my girl

I could change the world with my little song

But I was wrong

But she has faith in me

And so I'll go on trying faithfully

And maybe someday on some special night if my song is right

I can find the way... while she waits."

(She Believes In Me, Kenny Rogers)

... The fairytale of a love so deep, that it is willing to conquer all things, withstand all storms, stand strong through the test of time.

...The realization that there ARE things we can do to inspire another person in ways we could never imagine. To be by their side in encouragement to aim higher, and reach for their dreams. To celebrate ALL achievements big and small but no less significant.

...The dim recollection of what it was like, years ago, to have a sunny disposition and positive outlook, because negativity never helped. Discovering that it has been replaced by a large dose of skepticism...

I know not the exact nature of my innermost thoughts, the exact description of all the swirling stuff going on. All I know is that a part of me has become unbalanced, unhinged, dislodged.

I guess, I'll just take it one step at a time.

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