It is quite unlike me to say that "I cannot do this." In my roles at work and other responsibilities, I thrive in being the positive go-getter. I do not like failing; it makes me seem incompetent.
So when I give up, it is not without some measure of discomfort, not unaccompanied by a equal (if not greater) degree of disappointment in myself. I've said it before, FAIL is my four-letter F word; it disturbs me greatly. I am harder on myself than I am on anyone else. Whether it is my fault or otherwise, it's still the same... I find myself thinking that there must have been something I could have said or done to prevent the failure...
Yet I also know that when I concede defeat, I realize afresh that I cannot control everything, and that not everything hinges on what I can do or otherwise.
Sometimes the failure could also be for the better... Maybe I've taken on too much and didn't know when to say no. Maybe what was asked of me was way beyond my capability, what I could give, what I was willing to give.
Maybe failure is God's way of gently reminding me, "Look to Me, child, did you lean on Me? Will you?"
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