The Teary Year

"If you think back and replay your year, and it doesn't bring you tears, either of joy or sadness, consider the year wasted."
-- John Cage, the weird lawyer in Ally McBeal who thinks he's Barry White.

(May I urge you to read the quote again, slowly? Go on. The rest of this post ain't goin' anywhere.)

Me and my best bud from high school have this tradition of sharing this quote to each other every year. Strange isn't it, that the quote, and this post, speak of crying, when I always want to be strong. But I guess, tears are a part of me (I'm woman). And part of life.

... The tears oftentime welled up in my eyes in 2006. They rolled down my cheeks when I had to break a heart, and when my own heart was broken. They made their presence felt when I felt pierced by hurtful words, careless gestures, flippant comments. Some were shed in public, while others - the ones masking the deepest pain - were confined to nooks and crannies where I hid.

... Then there were happy tears too. Like when two of my dearest friends sang so well during cdpc's 6th anniversary celebration (and did the "3-note blessed" wonderfully!). When I received forgiveness from a person I had wounded deeply. When I was touched by the prayers of others - be they in person, via chats, or thru smses... And when someone gave me a beautiful gift that I knew had been chosen especially for me.

I have said it before, and I will say it again. I have been blessed. I have been blessed. God has been good to me, been faithful to me despite my wayward ways, my mean streaks, my deliberate stubbornness. And my happiest tears have been when I realize afresh that He has NEVER left me alone, that He is ALWAYS beside me, and that He has NEVER EVER stopped loving me, forgiving me when I came to Him.

Thank You, God.

For Your love unfailing, for Your joy unfading, for Your blessings to the overflowing. For watching over me and my loved ones, for not forsaking me, for being my source of strength, inspiration, and comfort.

Thank You for this year, and for the joys and sorrows of each day. Thank You for the people You have brought into my life, and for lives You've allowed me to touch. Thank You for the unending love and support of my family, and how being at home is such a balm to me. Thank You too for cdpc, for the joy of serving You and expressing my worship to You. Thank You for the countless other blessings I'm unable to list here! (*hehe*) ...

Please guide our steps for the coming year, Lord. I cannot go through each day without You. Keep us close to Your side, we pray...

In Jesus' name, Amen.

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I don't know about tomorrow. I just live from day to day. I don't borrow from its sunshine, for its skies may turn to grey. I don't worry o'er the future for I know what Jesus said. And today I'll walk beside Him, for He knows what is ahead...

I don't know about tomorrow. It may bring me poverty. But the One who holds the sparrow is the One who stands by me... And the path that is my portion may be through the flame or flood... But His presence goes before me, and I'm covered in His blood.

Many things about tomorrow, I don't claim to understand.
But I know Who holds tomorrow, and I know Who holds my hand.
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