I sit in almost stunned silence at the sheer relief.
Have not been able to think of anything beyond December 3rd.
Now that it's here, I feel kinda at a loss what to do with myself.
I actually have FREE TIME to gather my thoughts, put my life back together.
Wow. This is luxury. Thank You Lord, for seeing us through.
Apart from work, a few other things happened. Lost a childhood friend due to a fatal snatch theft over his laptop (over his LAPTOP!!). Recently mourned the passing of a physically-challenged church member - and yet I can't help feeling that she's doin' way better in heaven, with her body made whole.
These deaths have jolted my perspectives somewhat. In the midst of my frustrations at work, I've sometimes exclaimed in exasperation - "Why do I even bother? At the end of the day, will these people come to my funeral?" (Not that I want them to - but you know how rhetoric questions are.)
Really, when the end really comes, all of us just want to have done something significant in our lives, and/or made an impact in the lives of people around us; not wasted our time. We would have wanted to seen much more of the world, written that extra song, told the people we loved that we cherished their presence in our lives.
We would've wanted to tell our parents that we're sorry for every harsh word said, apologized to our siblings for petty fights, sat down with our grandparents more often so that they'd pass on life's valuable nuggets of wisdom and experience down to us.
Maybe I would not have done things differently at work, but at least would've tried to manage the balance a bit better, and not lost my cool with unreasonably-demanding clients.
*Sigh* My thoughts are all over the place.
Time to retreat, to recuperate, to rest. Will be back when I'm normal again. ("Normal".)
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