For anything
For anyone
Don't feel belonged
Don't feel whole
Don't feel fulfilled
Too-high expectations
Too-fake smiles
Too-weird character
Too unpredictable
Too scary
Too mean
Too emotional
Too irrational
Too immature
can't break free from the glass
can't stay in this lie
one's as bad as the other
come liberate me
Too much
Too hard on me
slowly crumbling
Too proud to let you see
There's just too much in me
let me sink into nothingness
let me be
I fear what it takes to set me free
I fear how much it will take from me
Perfect love, it conquers fear
One day I will love myself enough
To do what it takes
To be finally set free
Finally
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
The threat of Overexpecting
What is the true value of a person?
As indicated by the integrity of his word; that if spoken, it will be so.
Through the years of dealing with people, I've learnt various traits of myself. One of it is that I don't like being disappointed, made to feel cheated or let down. When that happens, I find myself delusioned, unable to move on, and sometimes, unable to trust. It eats into me, gnaws into my heart, shakes the very foundation of my being. More often than not, it usually leads me to walk away and remove myself from the source of that hurt.
I have found that oftentimes it is better for me to not be enticed by remuneration or reward, but to find joy in everything I put my hand into, and be pleased with the end result. In this way, whatever acclaim received is an additional joy, and I then truly appreciate the little and big rewards following it.
One might say I'm doing it wrong; that the right way is to begin with the end in mind.
I am. The end I'm looking for is end-user satisfaction and overall good; not so much for personal recognition and acclaim.
I fear the day that I discover I've thought too highly of myself, and overexpected a reward. That's just not me. I'm not made that way. I don't want to think I deserve anything. It's just my way of making sure my ego is not inflated. Let me be. Don't let me overexpect; I don't like walking away.
As indicated by the integrity of his word; that if spoken, it will be so.
Through the years of dealing with people, I've learnt various traits of myself. One of it is that I don't like being disappointed, made to feel cheated or let down. When that happens, I find myself delusioned, unable to move on, and sometimes, unable to trust. It eats into me, gnaws into my heart, shakes the very foundation of my being. More often than not, it usually leads me to walk away and remove myself from the source of that hurt.
I have found that oftentimes it is better for me to not be enticed by remuneration or reward, but to find joy in everything I put my hand into, and be pleased with the end result. In this way, whatever acclaim received is an additional joy, and I then truly appreciate the little and big rewards following it.
One might say I'm doing it wrong; that the right way is to begin with the end in mind.
I am. The end I'm looking for is end-user satisfaction and overall good; not so much for personal recognition and acclaim.
I fear the day that I discover I've thought too highly of myself, and overexpected a reward. That's just not me. I'm not made that way. I don't want to think I deserve anything. It's just my way of making sure my ego is not inflated. Let me be. Don't let me overexpect; I don't like walking away.
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