Let me FLY!

I have and will continue to throw off everything that hinders me from reaching my aspirations.

I have and will continue to demand my way as long as it makes sense and in the absence of other alternatives.

I have and will continue to weather the storms ahead, if I so believe that my actions and decisions are correct and beneficial for most parties involved, including mine. And temporary hurt is ALWAYS worth long-term justice where situations are put right.

I will always be the independent and headstrong young woman I was cut out to be. It fits me. Do not expect me to whimper. Even if I do, it'll be for a mere second, after which I will get up and run.

Do not attempt to place me in a corner with nowhere to run. I will bite.

I am not so much angry. I just wish to state my principles for the record. I am sick of stereotypes and dispassionates. I am sick of people trying to fit me in a box and label me. In fact, it amuses me when people try to do that; and watch them fail miserably.

I'm ECCENTRIC, and I will NEVER change. Deal with it.

The Measure of Success

"You seem to have a knack for finding all these small-small companies."..."Why do you work so hard? Get a life."..."Are you still driving the same car? Hmmm..."..."Still single? How can???"

Why is it that the measure of success invariably means either one or all of the following:
- Securing a job in a large corporation and being able to knock off early
- Driving a better (preferably import branded) car
- Getting hitched at a reasonable age

Have you noticed by now how TANGIBLE these aspects are? That these are the OUTWARD signs of supposed success, to show-off to other people how well we're doing in life? This is our equivalent of peer pressure (with the word "peer" used loosely) in this materialistic world. PEER PRESSURE!!! AT OUR AGE!!!!!!!

What happened to success being measured in intangible yet (more) meaningful ways?

...Like being appreciated by your superior in your company (large OR small, regardless), and being referred to as the right-hand man/woman, the dependable soldier.

...Like being complimented by your clients for jobs well done; tasks we worked on late into the night to scrutinize and perfect every word.

... Like being recognized for projects that set (and raise) the benchmark in the industry.

... Like being able to touch the lives of friends and loved ones because you took to the time and effort to be with them, be it with your own car (even proton gets you places) or public transport (!)

... Like being independent, diving into opportunities, being proactive in making things happen and choosing the life we want to live...

These are the things that last, and mean more to me than showing off to others of so-called success. These are my measurements on whether I am doing well or otherwise.

Will driving a better car, getting a proper 9-5 job, and being married now make me happy? I highly doubt it. If I can't be happy in my present circumstances, it is unlikely that these things will make me so. Because I believe it's not the outward things that matter. It's how comfortable I am in my own skin that gives me confidence.

These are my principles. I shall not apologize.

Fare thee well, my friend

Pulling away from your driveway, a strange feeling came over me
Past memories, happy moments
Came ahaunting

And as I drove on I remembered
The various milestones we've gone through
We've come a long way, kiddo... it's true...

In a blink of an eye, we'll bid "adieu"
And our lives will be changed forever
Still I will remember, where we had started
And I pray that God will guide you through and through...

For in my heart of hearts I know
God above has our days in His hand
Every person we've met along this journey
Is all in His perfect plan
And in His love you will remain
As you find joy in His grace
Every day of your life, may you find peace in His sight,
Fare thee well my friend, God bless,
Fare thee well...

Signs that I'm still impacted by Hillsong Conference 2007

My speech is peppered with words like, "amazing," "fantastic" and "phennnomenal!" (words typed as they're spoken).

I still sing the songs we learnt there. Poring over every carefully-crafted word.

I can't believe I saw Steven Curtis Chapman sing live.

I find myself missing the chilly weather.

I think of the awesome "window of opportunity", about "being the armour-bearer", about being "comfortably uncomfortable" and about the wonderful message of grace.

... It has brought me to a whole 'nother level. *wink*

PMS

I hate it when I get crabby for no apparent reason, and I take things too personally. I hate it when it causes my words to come faster outta my mouth than through my brain. I hate it that everything that can irritate me WILL irritate me.

PMS = Pre-Menstrual Syndrome, is the season when hormonal changes in a woman's body affect her moods. In some seasons it gets me flying into rages of raging fury; at other times it brings me great bouts of depression I cannot get out of. In both types, I am seemingly uncontrollable. Logic doesn't register. There's no telling what I can do and say. Heck, sometimes my brain asks, "Why are you doing this?" when the words are darting rapidly out of my mouth. Talk about confusion of self-image.

As a result, I am a hazard to others, and a hazard to myself. I am the peace-disrupter, killjoy to the highest degree.

Asking around, no one can give me remedy for it; nothing I can eat or drink to curb the effects of PMS. The only thing I can do is to be more aware of it. And try to take things as calmly as I possibly can, mustering the best piece of logic I can squeeze out.

People, I'm sorry if I have said or done things that have inadvertently hurt you during these seasons. I'm trying, I really am, to be a better person. Please bear with me.