The Lesson in Failure

It is quite unlike me to say that "I cannot do this." In my roles at work and other responsibilities, I thrive in being the positive go-getter. I do not like failing; it makes me seem incompetent.

So when I give up, it is not without some measure of discomfort, not unaccompanied by a equal (if not greater) degree of disappointment in myself. I've said it before, FAIL is my four-letter F word; it disturbs me greatly. I am harder on myself than I am on anyone else. Whether it is my fault or otherwise, it's still the same... I find myself thinking that there must have been something I could have said or done to prevent the failure...

Yet I also know that when I concede defeat, I realize afresh that I cannot control everything, and that not everything hinges on what I can do or otherwise.

Sometimes the failure could also be for the better... Maybe I've taken on too much and didn't know when to say no. Maybe what was asked of me was way beyond my capability, what I could give, what I was willing to give.

Maybe failure is God's way of gently reminding me, "Look to Me, child, did you lean on Me? Will you?"

Anointed

... Among the things we brought back from Hillsong Conference 2007 were the new songs penned by their team. Today we shared with cdpc 3 of them.

And I realised afresh, that those songs are really God-anointed, God-inspired; for they allowed God's people to worship Him in a fresh new way.

Everytime I hear or sing "Hosanna", I feel a deep sense of longing from deep within; an ache I can't explain; is it a yearning to truly praise God for all He is? And the bridge brings one to really cry out before the Lord...

"Heal my heart and make it clean,

Open up my eyes to the things unseen,

Show me how to love like You have loved me...

Break my heart for what breaks Yours,

Everything I am for the Kingdom's cause,

As I walk from here into eternity...."

... This is my desire: that the things I do in His name and for His glory - be it in writing songs, in singing, or playing music - will be approved, anointed by Him, and serve His purpose: to point His people in the direction of the one and only living God.