Bob Dylan - Times Are A Changin'

Come gather 'round people

Wherever you roam

And admit that the waters

Around you have grown

And accept it that soon

You'll be drenched to the bone.

If your time to you

Is worth savin'

Then you better start swimmin'

Or you'll sink like a stone

For the times they are a-changin'.

Come writers and critics

Who prophesize with your pen

And keep your eyes wide

The chance won't come again

And don't speak too soon

For the wheel's still in spin

And there's no tellin' who

That it's namin'.

For the loser now

Will be later to win

For the times they are a-changin'.

Come senators, congressmen

Please heed the call

Don't stand in the doorway

Don't block up the hall

For he that gets hurt

Will be he who has stalled

There's a battle outside

And it is ragin'.

It'll soon shake your windows

And rattle your walls

For the times they are a-changin'.

Come mothers and fathers

Throughout the land

And don't criticize

What you can't understand

Your sons and your daughters

Are beyond your command

Your old road is

Rapidly agin'.

Please get out of the new one

If you can't lend your hand

For the times they are a-changin'.

The line it is drawn

The curse it is cast

The slow one now

Will later be fast

As the present now

Will later be past

The order is

Rapidly fadin'.

And the first one now

Will later be last

For the times they are a-changin'

Harrowing! Exhausting! Absolutely exhilarating!

The words describe the past 2 weeks for me...

One of the weeks saw me facing a seemingly-unending crisis in office from Monday to Wednesday... It tested the limits of my patience and stress... It consumed so much energy from my being that it felt like a whole week had past; and indeed when I woke up on Thursday, my first thought was: "Oh! It's Saturday!"

... I know God sustained me.

Another weekend saw me being on piano at church, and playing with the young people just brings me so much joy. They're blessed with so much talent, and have so much potential to grow further!

That Sunday a big bunch of us went to the Passion Conference Kuala Lumpur - where Chris Tomlin and Charlie Hall led us in AWESOME worship... Am so privileged to see Chris sing "Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)" LIVE... and have him introduce the powerful "God of this city".... Louie Giglio brought us God's word so clearly, based on Isaiah 26:8 - the verse that Passion is based on. And from their blog ( http://www.268generation.com/blog ) it's quite clear that they are proclaiming GOD in every city they go...

... Indeed, God is the hope for a world that desperately needs Him. And He's working amongst the youths IN EVERY CITY for His purpose.

This past weekend was one of the fullest I'd gone through in some time... Cell group brought a bunch of 10 kids to the zoo as part of our reach out to the poorer community... Each kid is special in His sight, and we sought to show His love to them that day...

... Thereafter I headed to Sarah's place for a power nap and then to church for worship practice and Saturday service... And after that I had a band audition that kept me in church till 10.30pm - but again, being with the young people invigorated me! And the months of our playing together showed in the tight band we had. More so, the laughter and smiles that shone through belied a deeper sense of belonging within.

... It is God who has sustained and kept me; God who has blessed me with so much, that I gotta give it away. Thank YOU.

Wow Words

A painter paints his pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence.
~ Leopold Stokowski

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Not good enough

For anything
For anyone

Don't feel belonged
Don't feel whole
Don't feel fulfilled
Too-high expectations
Too-fake smiles
Too-weird character
Too unpredictable
Too scary
Too mean
Too emotional
Too irrational
Too immature

can't break free from the glass
can't stay in this lie
one's as bad as the other
come liberate me

Too much
Too hard on me
slowly crumbling
Too proud to let you see
There's just too much in me
let me sink into nothingness
let me be

I fear what it takes to set me free
I fear how much it will take from me
Perfect love, it conquers fear
One day I will love myself enough
To do what it takes
To be finally set free
Finally

The threat of Overexpecting

What is the true value of a person?
As indicated by the integrity of his word; that if spoken, it will be so.

Through the years of dealing with people, I've learnt various traits of myself. One of it is that I don't like being disappointed, made to feel cheated or let down. When that happens, I find myself delusioned, unable to move on, and sometimes, unable to trust. It eats into me, gnaws into my heart, shakes the very foundation of my being. More often than not, it usually leads me to walk away and remove myself from the source of that hurt.

I have found that oftentimes it is better for me to not be enticed by remuneration or reward, but to find joy in everything I put my hand into, and be pleased with the end result. In this way, whatever acclaim received is an additional joy, and I then truly appreciate the little and big rewards following it.

One might say I'm doing it wrong; that the right way is to begin with the end in mind.

I am. The end I'm looking for is end-user satisfaction and overall good; not so much for personal recognition and acclaim.

I fear the day that I discover I've thought too highly of myself, and overexpected a reward. That's just not me. I'm not made that way. I don't want to think I deserve anything. It's just my way of making sure my ego is not inflated. Let me be. Don't let me overexpect; I don't like walking away.