2007: Personal Development

Whoever who came up with the term "growing pains" is a genius. I find no other phrase so concise to typify what 2007 was like for me.

I learned about thresholds: discovering how much I could cope with, and knowing when I should give up. I learned what was bottom-line important to me in friendships and relationships. I learned to appreciate those who were my true friends, and who loved me enough to tell me what I was doing right and where I was going wrong.

I had one of my dreams come true when I was sent to the Hillsong Conference in Sydney. It was one of Australia's coldest winters but it didn't dampen my heart for a second. Even now, when the "blow-wind-blow" chilly wind no longer bites my cheeks, my heart is filled with gratitude for this opportunity. Singing along with Steven Curtis Chapman was a joy, watching Brooke Fraser for the first time was inspiring, and seeing 20,000 people lifting up their hands and praising God as one voice was truly truly truly something to remember for the rest of my life.

I learned about blessing people, and about praising God for the little and big things in my life; the dewdrops and the rainbows. I learned about participating in His wonderful works of art; creating music that would enable others to see Him a little bit clearer in their lives. I learned about perfection, and how, in many ways, I was not. And I learned, from the Master Forgiver, how to extend grace.

Turning a quarter of a century old certainly had some effect on making me reflect how much I'd achieved; not just in my 25 years, but more specifically in my 5 years in the working world. Did I have much to show? What did I want to show, anyhow? Material gain? You know me better than that.

Growing pains indeed. My Lord saw every tear I shed when I was upset, hurt, misunderstood. He heard my every word; pained, harsh, whispered in silent anguish. But it was all good. I grew up. I well and truly grew up. May I never forget these lessons.

You who stood by me every day of last year, I thank you. You who stopped to sit beside me and gather my tears, my deepest gratitude. I will always cherish all we've shared.

Jesus, please walk with me into 2008, that I may do as You will, walk as You lead, and love as You would love. Thank You for all that You are to me.

The Liberated Woman Speaks

From now on I will live my life to the fullest,
Laugh my heartiest,
Choose to love whoever I choose.

Such A High Calling, Lord

Why does Your commandment have a responsibility to You and to others?
Why is loving others so difficult?
Why should I extend forgiveness 49 times? Okay Lord, I understand, You mean it to be more than that. But I've a problem with forgiving the same person even 10 times.
A high calling, Lord... Such a high calling.

How could You ignore it, Lord, when people kicked and spat at You?
How could You remain silent amidst the jeers?
How could You die for a people who didn't love You back?
A high calling, Lord... Such a high calling.

Why can't I be like You Lord?

How can I take things calmly when others are mean to me without reason?

Why can't I just learn to forgive and forget? Oh I almost forgot. I am woman, after all.
Still, a high calling, Lord... Such a high calling.

I need You Lord. I need You to pull me up to fulfil the high calling.

Happy new year, Julia. May the rest of the 364 days in 2008 be happier than this.

Hope of the World

Little baby, You're a gift from up above

Come to save me, symbol of the Father's love

I'm grateful Lord

Star was shining, bright for everyone to see

Jesus light of all the world had come to be

Our Saviour, Friend

Then the angel host appeared, bringing tidings and good cheer

For Father God began His perfect plan

Lord You came down to earth

Bringing hope of new birth

I bow down and worship You alone

And for all of my days

I will sing of Your wonderful, matchless, redeeming grace

Jesus hope of the world, for me

I didn't know You, yet You called me by name

Since that day Lord, my life has never been the same

My heart resounds

Through the darkness, I look up to see Your face

Outstretched arms Lord, I will run to Your embrace

Secure in You

Every tear I shed, He sees,

I will know no other peace,

And evermore proclaim His grace and mercy

Everything I possess is from You

You came to meet my deepest need

There's no other love like the love of my Jesus

All glory and praise to Thee!

p.s.: Thanks Phylli and WeeLee for taking this and making it available. Thank You God, for the first Christmas, the inspiration.

In all finality

Abandon:

1. To leave completely and finally, to utterly desert.
2. To give up entirely, or withdraw from.
3. A complete surrender to natural impulses without restraint or moderation; freedom from inhibition or conventionality.

Notice how the word "abandon" seems to be so extreme in its meaning... "completely... utterly... entirely... without restraint or moderation..." ... a FULL word. No wonder one feels so empty, devoid, unthinking, unfeeling...