Saturday, August 29, 2009

Thoughts on Malaysia's 52nd Birthday

"1Malaysia".

Great tagline, that. Straight to the point. Catchy. Even without the (obligatory) songs and advertisements and other what-have-yous that the PR campaign has successfully churned out. (On a side note, I seemed to have missed Petronas' advertisement this year. I strained to look for it on tv and in the papers - even their website! - but came up empty. What's the story?)

Anyway back to 1Malaysia.

Oh, great concept too. All peoples moving as one in our single-mindedness towards building this nation. Semuanya bertekad terhadap satu objektif: Memajukan negara dengan memajukan setiap insan yang berwarganegara Malaysia - tak kira bangsa, agama, dan sebagainya.

That's my take on 1Malaysia.

That's just the problem.

I'd have no problems grasping it if I actually saw it being implemented. We can't move on towards realizing 1Malaysia if political parties continually harp on racial differences and highlight them as faults. The recent by-elections in Permatang Pasir was openly described as one where racial cards were dealt. Have we not learnt?

We can't progress if we insist on "maintaining our standards by our own yardstick" by lowering the standards or flip-flopping on education policies as and when it suits our statistics and short-term agendas. Singaporean papers (and I bet other countries too) attributed the flip-flop stance to one of our Government's usual practices. Have we not learnt?

We can't progress if time and time again, it's NOT the best, most capable, and most reliable providers that are selected to undertake national projects. Okay, not all providers are sucky - MYEG has got a great service going on and I hope they expand their scope - but honestly, the success stories are few, far, and in between many, MANY failures. (Don't give me the "5% entrepreneurs make it" line - you know very well what I'm trying to get at. )

We just can't progress if we do not learn that excellence is achieved through sheer hard work, the act of constantly proving ourselves, and the art of appreciating and building each other up on the pretext of mutual benefit and advancement for a common, greater good.

Anything less, and we sell ourselves short on what we are capable of achieving.

I'll admit - I scoffed when I read that the PM called on us to "repair bridges"- excuse me, we didn't build them. The policies did. I'll say too, that it probably wasn't his fault in entirety. The whole system has been there all along, enhanced and modified to perfection... and it's hard to pass on a well-oiled machine so entrenched in its functions.

It's hard not to be jaded and think that it's never gonna change.

What would Yasmin Ahmad have conjured?

Tragically, would it have remained just that - a mere concept, beautiful and admired, but never quite allowed to be fully implemented and realized?

That's not the 1Malaysia I seek, long and pray for. God, we need You more than ever.

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Tuesday, August 25, 2009

"You're the maddest person in this room"

The room suddenly fell silent.
My heart went still.
Surely I misheard him?
Someone mumbled, "Huh?"

Quite deliberately, yet in a slightly-offhandish way, he said:

"I think you're the maddest person in this group. The most art-bent. The world needs eccentrics every now and then."

"What gave me away?" I asked, unsure how best to respond.

He shrugged. "I don't know. A twitch, perhaps."

-- Look, had that comment come from a totally-ordinary person on the street, I'd have immediately noticed the slight sneer in that tone, or the wrinkled-nose of disgust that usually accompanies such a statement. Heck such labels are not new to me.

But to have elicited that comment from a total stranger who happened to be a brilliant musician - the multi-talented type who plays the five-string double bass, mandolin, piano, piano-accordion and guitar, the type who makes every instrument he picks up SING - ....

I actually felt liberated.

I felt a glow deep within me.

SO.

I'm a certifed mad, weird, and eccentric person.

I have a right to keel towards the arts and love the music I make and hear; to do whatever it takes to express that which I feel inside - be it laugh, dance, or cry.

I'm mad, and proud of it =)

p.s. - Lord, how would You use this mad person?
p.p.s. - Thank you Rod Gear :) You made my weekend. http://www.sonsofkorah.com/

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Thursday, August 20, 2009

Constant Infighting

To whine or just pipe down?
To appear strong or be vulnerable?
To attempt to do it all and fail; or do little and excel?
To focus on single-handedly finishing the task on schedule,
Or take time to get the entire team involved?

To portray confidence and determination,
Or speak only in terms of "doing my best"?
To be gung-ho and independent,
Or be a feminine damsel in need of aid?

To speak loudly of the true values I hold,
Or be silent for fear of ridicule?
To tell of what I really feel inside,
Or continue my needless tirade?

In all my contradictions, I am but human too.

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Friday, August 14, 2009

Quoting Ahmad Izham Omar, CEO of 8tv

Have always admired the young, dashing musician-turned-CEO who helms 8tv, and this piece echoes my thoughts....

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Embraceable You (2009)
by Ahmad Izham Omar
Jul 16, 2009 at 06:20 PM

I was driving back late one night. It was a nice and lonely drive, you know, the one where you are totally alone with your thoughts, lost to music in the background while the pulse of the city streets and flickering neon lights dance before you in the treasured sanctuary of your car.

The music in my car never fails to surprise me, and this is probably due to my iPod being set to randomly play any song from my nearly 11,000-strong song library (ahem).

So it was the nicest of feelings, as I was driving that night, when the familiar strings and brass of a majestic Nelson Riddle arrangement swept into the car and Frank Sinatra started singing “Embrace me…my sweet embraceable you….”.

I openly let the lush beauty of a Sinatra classic totally engulf me, feeding all my senses, his inimitable voice resonating deep into my consciousness and giving that journey home a magical elevation.

As the strings soared and Sinatra reached the top of his vocal range, my thoughts began floating, transcending into the distant darkness of the Ampang hills, the world swishing by me in a blur of buildings, cars and toll plazas, sparking in me a curious thought about songwriting and how it related with the song title Embraceable You.

It should come to no surprise that the most beautiful works of art come from the deepest of experiences. The Taj Mahal was created from deep and blinding love, Beethoven composed some of his best work under the tragic curse of deafness, Picasso’s Guernica was inspired by the horrifying manslaughter of war, Kurt Cobain screamed out his despair about selling out to success in Smells Like Teen Spirit and we could only imagine the ache in Eric Clapton when he wrote Tears In Heaven for his dead son.

Take a while and think of your all-time favourite songs. In most cases, the songs made you feel a depth of emotion rarely felt in everyday life (yes, maybe even Ice Ice Baby from Vanilla Ice for some of you).

And in most cases, the reason the song made you feel those deep emotions is because the songwriter too dug deep into his or her emotions. The result is magic; an unseen but powerful connection between strangers, tied together by their own personal feelings.

The filmmaker Yasmin Ahmad once said, “To touch the hearts of people deeply, you first have to touch your own heart deeply”.

I thoroughly agree. We need to dig deep inside ourselves, go through our deepest emotions, and explore the ironies and complexities that make us human to be able to produce meaningful works of art.

Hence the problem. As a rule, we Malaysians don’t really get over-emotional.

Maybe it’s because we always try to “control handsome”. We rarely let our guard down because it’s “frowned upon”. I’ve been getting the heat too about ever letting any of our reality contestants hug on stage.

But what is all this hoo-ha about?

I think giving your all and yes, letting your feelings get in the way are the basic ingredients of achieving seemingly-impossible things. Put everything into it, man, and miracles usually happen. People who have done seemingly-incredible feats all seem to have this characteristic trait of “wearing your heart on your sleeve”: Steve Jobs, Walt Disney, Tun Mahathir, even Osama.

If you are creating something in a factory-assembled manner with all precision but no heart, then the resulting work would be easily forgettable. Yes, this applies to non-music creations as well. Heck, it even applies if you sell goreng pisang.

Wouldn’t it be great if everyone put their entire heart and soul into everything they do? Wouldn’t it be great if they were not afraid to get their hearts into the line of fire even when they know there is the risk of getting hurt? Wouldn’t it be great that nobody does things because of routine or “it’s a job” but instead put everything into it? Even activities like picking up the kids at school?

Confucius said it best with this line: “Wherever you go, go with all your heart”. Apply that to music and I really believe our music will reach soaring new heights. Apply it to life, and suddenly life is worth living.

I sat there in the darkness as my car purred itself to a stop in my driveway. With Frank Sinatra’s voice sublimely trailing away into a fade, I smiled at the irony of it all.

We sing about embracing, about loving with all of our hearts and about feeling the deepest love.

Maybe one day we can really live it.

URL: http://www.8tv.com.my/Fan8tics/Fan8ticsCEOBlog.aspx?Mode=detail&EntryID=272&BloggerID=8

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Sunday, August 09, 2009

Finding my footing

Isn't it amazing that you still find yourself standing upright when inside you're just crumbling all over?

Ain't it weird how you still find the strength to run and get things done even if you thought you had no energy left to lift your arms, much less take another step?

What pushes you, really?

Desperation to prove a point? Helplessness over the situation? Need for (over)achievement?

Thing is - at some juncture we're bound to tire of it, right? Begin thinking that there's gotta be more to life than this?

Sigh. I don't want to come to the realization one day that all I've done / am doing is not worth it. Sometimes I need to know that there is such a thing as balance; that it isn't a sin to sit down and watch the world go by; that I don't have to be the one running the rat race all the time.

I need to find my footing. I hope I find it before I fall flat on my face.

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