Chance

If I don't fight for my happiness, no one will.

If I don't yearn for my own betterment, no one will.

If I never take pride in my possessions, no one will.

If I don't learn to take care of myself, no one will.

If I don't keep my head up amidst the throng, no one will.

If I don't stick to my guns, my principles, no one will.

If I never give myself the chance -

To give it the first try
To make my own mistakes
To lose it all
To bleed
To bind my wounds
To express what I feel to be right and true
To test the sincerity of my being
To examine the rationale of my thoughts
To explore every thought that racks my brain
To scrutinize all that I do and want to believe
To listen to my own voice
To find the meaning behind the beating of my heart -

No one will.

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All my days

"You have ordained all my days, Lord. You know each moment before it comes to pass."

It was simple faith that I needed in the past few weeks. His promise that I relied on to get me through when I had done all that I could do. We survived, but not without a few bruises, not without a large dose of hurt, not without a real need to learn how to "love my enemies" on my part. By His grace alone we survived.

But it's not only in the daily grind, Lord, is it, where Your words ring true? Your promise is for all our days.

It takes much for a go-getter to sit back and let Him take control.
It takes a conscious will to stop being stubborn, and instead be still.

Then the other extreme sometimes convinces you that no one cares after all.
Striking in the deepest darkness; often no more than a small thought.
That gradually builds up to form a seemingly-unshakeable belief.

Leaning too much on either scale is destructive.

I can't find the middle ground sometimes.

But on days like this, when I realize that I'm nothing more than a speck of dust, yet lovingly created, cared for and rescued by my Heavenly Father, it slowly dawns on me that I need not worry about how my life turns out; but can trust Him with all my heart.

For all my worries - Will I get me own place soon? Replace my old possessions? Will I end up needy eventually? Reduced to the typical stereotype? Will I ever learn to be more emotionally-balanced? Plain dull? Will I be happy? Fulfilled? - this is my answer:

"You have ordained all my days, Lord. You know each moment before it comes to pass. Help me be still, and know You are God."

Amen.

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